We have asked some of the surrogates in our home to write letters about how they are feeling and why they chose to become surrogates. I always find it interesting why someone would decide to agree to being a surrogate and carrying a child for another family. Some of the women chose to write letters to the couples they are working with as they feel connected to them.
Each woman remitted their comments in writing in Spanish which we had translated before posting here. If anyone is interested in seeing the actual letters (in case there are some nuances lost with the translation) please let me know.
First of all, it is an honor for me to be a surrogate mother. At the beginning, I thought about it a lot and, after thinking about it well, now I know I want to share this joy with the families. To a person or a couple having a baby is the most wonderful thing. To see him/her smile all the time, listen to his/her first words, I cannot express with words how beautiful it is to have a baby. And I can guarantee you chose the right person to be your surrogate mother. I am going to look after myself as much as I can and eat healthy so that your baby can be strong and healthy.
In the house we live they give us a welcoming household, they provide us with what me and my children need. Thank God they let me keep them. As it is because of them that I am happy, and being happy myself, your baby will also be happy.
I decided to be a surrogate mother because I like the idea of you guys feeling this joy that, for one reason or another, you could not feel yet. And because I have two beautiful children, who I have to raise myself. I would like to thank you for choosing me, and I hope this process we are starting will reach its final goal: to see a healthy and strong baby in your arms.
First of all I would like to say hello and congratulate you on your baby girl. I have to begin by saying thank you for the opportunity you are giving me to be part of your dream of becoming parents, for being able to share your happiness with me and for choosing me as the person in charge of giving you this great joy. Joy that, I can guarantee, is the greatest feeling on earth. So, thank you for sharing this with me.
On the other side, I would like to say I feel very happy in the agency house, as they are treating me very well. They are doing all that is in their power to look after me: the medical service is adequate, efficient and kind when needed. I think I would not be as happy if it wasn’t for my two little ones being close to me. The fact that they are happy makes me feel relaxed and happy too. Which makes your baby happy too, so that she can grow in a relaxed environment. I can guarantee I am living a very relaxed period here thanks to all the care they provide.
I would like you to share these feelings with me, so that it becomes part of your wonderful parenting experience too. If this was not the case though, I would like to say that having a life inside me is a wonderful and fascinating feeling, which, thanks to your generosity, I have the chance to feel again, and the greatest thing of all this is that, once this comes to an end, I will be able to share this joy with you guys too.
I am already doing all is in my power to look after myself and your little one, so that she will grow and develop in a relaxed environment, healthy and strong.
I would like to say the decision of being a surrogate mother was tough at the time, making that decision was a lot of effort. However, after thinking about it a lot and analysing my own way of thinking, as well as the latinos way of thinking regarding maternity and children, I abandoned all bias and saw the reason why I would make such a decision. Actually, after experiencing myself the joy of being a mother with my two little angels, who can be little devils sometimes, and, after speaking with the agency representatives, I felt like I could share the happiness of being able to give to someone else this opportunity, challenge, responsibility, sadness sometimes, doubt sometimes, tears and most of all, I could be proud of leaving a sign in this life.
I think that, when you are looking for something with passion and you really desire it, that is priceless and there is nothing that generates more pride and satisfaction than reaching your own goals, and fighting to reach them. And when the goal is to make sure the union of two human beings becomes true in a new little human being, who is going to be part of you and the person you love, eventually this big effort becomes priceless. I am sure that, year after year, seeing that creature growing up and realizing that every thing she touches and sees will be something new and wonderful, and seeing those pure eyes which no one else has, and, which have not seen evil, rage or selfishness, you will realize those eyes are so pure that only you guys will understand. Because you will see yourselves in those pure and wonderful eyes, and they will be the most wonderful thing you will ever see.
When eventually I decided to be a surrogate mother, I thought it would be difficult, but the thought that a couple that I do not know puts me in charge of taking care of its dreams makes me feel proud of the decision I made.
I would like to thank you for the opportunity of being your surrogate mother and I feel very happy to feel these moments for you, and, one day, with you. Thank you for allowing me to keep my two little ones close to me and for the opportunity you gave me in this Caribbean paradise, full of beaches and flavoursome aromas, such as fresh air and the smell of the sea. I know that your baby is enjoying the same as me and can smell the same that I smell, so I guess she is happy.
I feel happy because I was able to forget about selfishness and bias, as eventually your happiness will be my greatest reward.
The fact that I decided to be pregnant of a child who is not mine does not mean that, throughout pregnancy, I may develop feelings for the baby. The reason why I do this is that I would like to feel a little creature grow in my belly, and, also I know that once he/she is born, the baby will be in a family who is excited to welcome this life, a human being they will share wonderful moments with, and who will fill their own hearts with love, like it happened to me. I also have a child, and this is one of the reasons why I am working on this “life” project. He is living in the house with me, the other mothers and children. He is feeling comfortable in participating in this project and this is important to me. Because I needed to share more moments with him, and for my future and for the one of my own child, I am hoping this life project will be completed soon. To reach the goals I have in mind as a human being in general, and being the person I am.
I feel good in the house, I get on with the other people in the house. The tasks we are given, I do them with enthusiasm. This is the way I think people should live, with no stress and enjoying this project, which will make the parents of the baby or babies very happy.
Well, this is part of what I am doing in this project. Thank you for your attention.
My name is Claudia. I am 29 years old and I am a mother of two, a boy aged 15 and a girl aged 8. I am a single mother and my experience as a mother, I can say it is unique. As I know well how a new creature changes everything in your life, he/she changes your way of thinking, of acting, up to changing your own life. Because not only it will be you, but also another person, who is going to depend a lot on you. Having a baby fills your life in many ways. It fills you with love, with patience, with an immense joy that does not fit in your chest (meaning “heart”). And you never stop learning. They fill you with love, they bring joy to your day, and when you feel you can’t take it anymore, because you had a tough day, they always do something to turn that tough day into joy. For this reason, and many more reasons, which will take me too long to write, I decided to be a surrogate mum. To help people become parents, for them to enjoy a little happiness, to make their dreams come true. It is a truthful and lovable act for me to be able to help you guys. And I am aware this requires a lot of care, which I will make sure I take, for your baby to be born as healthy as possible. Whilst he/she is with me, I will take care of him/her. So that when you will be holding him/her in your own arms, your baby will be filled with love, and this way he/she will come to your arms. I know this baby will fill you in a thousand different ways, and I would like to be part of this, by helping you to become parents. For you to be able to hear one day that your children will be born.